I have never been to a wedding, so I am handing this post over to Mummy to talk about 😉 Mummy says…
I bet you you think I am going to talk about the cost of a wedding if you are the bride and groom don’t you?
Wrong! Weddings are proving costly for the guests too, and it seems, causing some problems. I wonder if you have been to any weddings this summer? If so, do you know the cost of attending a wedding? Do you have a savings pot for wedding guest money? I haven’t been to a wedding for years – the last one was my sisters almost nine years ago! Good job really, as I don’t think I could afford to go!
I find these statistics interesting – and something I have never thought about. Being on my own at the moment, I have no one that I need to discuss my finances with, or agree or ask! I do know though, how tricky it is to juggle a relationship and finances – and have had my fair share of arguments about it in the past. Planning a wedding – or going to one as a guest, setting up home, and life generally can be expensive and it is not always easy to talk about it with your partner.
I think it is great then that Experian have brought out a Money and Relationships Guide to give a little help in this area. I am sure there are so many couples who could benefit from reading this.
Here are some top tips from the guide:
Do
1. Set the ground rules. Do you want a joint account for regular expenses and separate bank accounts for personal spending? Or do you want everything to go together?
2. Work out who does what. The more frugal partner could look after the budget, while the more extravagant works out the ‘treats’, like meals out or trips away.
3. Agree on short and long-term goals and how you’re going to achieve them, and review regularly together.
4. Be honest about your past. If you have a less-than-perfect history of repaying money you owe, this could affect both of you in the long-term if your credit reports become linked.
5. Take time together to understand if you need to improve one or both of your credit reports. Do this well in advance of applying for credit together.
Don’t
1. Spend all your time together talking about money.
2. Keep secrets. Research from Experian shows that 29% of people in the UK discovered that their partner was keeping credit card debt from them.
3. Dig yourself into a hole. If you find yourself in debt, don’t borrow more in the hope of putting things right. Ask for help and be open about it with your partner.
4. Talk about money issues when you are angry. Arguing about money is never going to be productive.
5. Expect your partner to completely change. It’s unlikely an extravagant spender will do a complete about-turn and suddenly become frugal.
Have you anything to add?
August 31, 2015 at 9:14 am
These are brilliant tips, its true you have to stay very open and honest about money otherwise these sort of issues could boil away under the surface. Having to admit to old credit cards isn’t easy but it has to be done!
Eimear recently posted…Bambino Mio Reuseable Cloth Nappies
August 31, 2015 at 9:17 am
I haven’t been to any for a while but found myself invited to 2 in a short space of time a few years ago.I felt I had to buy different outfits for each as there were some of the same people going to each.Daft I know!It cost me a fair bit even though I’d tried to keep it cheap x
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August 31, 2015 at 9:42 am
Great tips, I agree you have to be honest about money and set the ground rules very early on x
StressedMum recently posted…If I Could………
August 31, 2015 at 9:42 am
Really useful tips for everyone. Money can really make or break a relationship and being honest about it all is so very important.
Polka Dot Family recently posted…Changing Faces Week Thirty-Five {2015}
August 31, 2015 at 9:58 am
This is so true. weddings are so expensive… To have and to go to. Especially when it’s far away and there are kids involved. I missed my cousins wedding as it was in Spain, it would have cost a grand to go, stay, and outfits for all. So, I didn’t go. Gutted.
August 31, 2015 at 10:23 am
We are very relaxed when it comes to money and I think we need more rules.
Charlotte recently posted…The Size Of A Lettuce
August 31, 2015 at 10:26 am
Wow those are some interesting stats! I love the idea of a wedding guest fun pot! We are going to a friends wedding next week – luckily hubby is in the wedding party so doesn’t need a suit and I’m wearing an old dress – we’ll still spend a small fortune on all the extras though!
North East Family Fun recently posted…#TravelTours – A Monthly Travel Vlog Linky
August 31, 2015 at 10:46 am
Great tips! My husband and I both have bank accounts but are for different things. His has his wage going in which pays for bills and mine has mine going in which pays for days out and clothing etc. To be honest, I do all the bill paying and everything, My husband probably doesn’t even know what’s in his account!
Michaela Britton recently posted…Weaning Update – Vital Baby Essentials
August 31, 2015 at 12:01 pm
Ok this infographic is shocking, I thought it was hard enough planning a wedding now guests are in just as much financial burdens as the bride and groom wow. Great tips I definitely baring this in mind
Miranda (Myrabev) recently posted…{Recipe} Simple overnight oats
August 31, 2015 at 1:05 pm
Fab tips. Weddings are starting to cost more and more now. What with hen do’s before the wedding amounting to a couple of hundred, and then accommodation and the gift for the actual wedding. Arrrrggghhhhh! x
The London Mum recently posted…Life Through A Lens #2
August 31, 2015 at 1:48 pm
Weddings have become less and less about love and more and more like valentines day. It’s all about how much you can show off and how big everything is. It does cost so much to attend as well! People forget that being a guest is about actually being a *guest*!! x
Natasha Kendall | Beauty and Lifestyle
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August 31, 2015 at 2:55 pm
I control the money in our household but it was what my other half wanted. He transfers all his wages to me I deal with all of the bills and expenses and he keeps a little back for treats.
It works really well for us because he is awful with money!
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August 31, 2015 at 2:56 pm
I have to admit I’d never thought about the cost of wedding (guest or not) this is actually really surprising. x
Sarah Bailey recently posted…Flowers from Debenhams: Review
August 31, 2015 at 3:05 pm
This doesn’t surprise me and I spent over 1K on my brothers wedding!
Emma recently posted…Why having children young can be the best decision
August 31, 2015 at 5:06 pm
Well to be honest I always think of the money when it comes to weddings as they are a small fortune for a guest. I think to myself that I have to have a new dress at £50.00 plus, then the gift for the bride and groom usually money, not to mention drinks, overnight stay etc etc. We were invited to my husbands work colleagues wedding and I was relieved this invite was turned down especially as we did not really know this person. I could not justify the cost for people who were not close friends or family.
Leah recently posted…Frogging
August 31, 2015 at 5:51 pm
As someone who is attending her first wedding next year, thank you for this post! Cute info graphic too.
Catstello | http://www.cattitudeandco.uk
August 31, 2015 at 8:48 pm
It’s really scary how quickly costs can spiral! Weddings are supposed to be enjoyable for everyone it shouldn’t envolve needing a bank loan!!!
Claire Ridewood recently posted…Kids in the Kitchen #01
August 31, 2015 at 11:06 pm
Brilliant tips. I think it’s very easy to forget that it actually costs money to attend a wedding. As a family of 5, it is a big deal if we all need outfits, travel costs, drinks if a pay bar, gifts etc.
August 31, 2015 at 11:33 pm
Ah weddings are so expensive for ALL involved. My best friend got married last month and wow, I don’t want to even think about what we spent
Rebecca Smith recently posted…Meal Planning Monday
September 1, 2015 at 8:04 am
The last wedding I went to was just under a year ago and was my sisters. It didn’t cost me anything to attend, but it was local to where we lived etc. I can certainly imagine a fair few arguments between couples/families if they had to fork out a bit to attend a wedding. Great tips. #myfavouritepost
Emily recently posted…Obsessions I’ve developed since becoming a mum
September 1, 2015 at 8:15 am
Disagreements about couple finances are one of the top reasons for divorce! It’s an absolute minefield! #MyFavouritePost
Anita Cleare recently posted…Introducing a new partner to your children
September 1, 2015 at 8:20 am
Money is such a hot topic for couples as it is so emotive. these are good tips. Openness helps although it is not always easy. #myfavouritepost
Kirsten Toyne recently posted…Express Yourself – The Summer Holiday Self Worth Challenge Part 7
September 1, 2015 at 10:33 am
Attending weddings do cost a fortune! We have had a few over the past few years I dread to think of the amount. It is fun to dress up though. However we usually only gift around £20 for a wedding and the rest is on travel accommodation and clothes. We don’t have any arguments over this as its all “our” money no his or hers here!
mummy m’s memories recently posted…A summer full of milestones!
September 1, 2015 at 10:41 am
The cost of weddings to the guests is getting crazy – especially if you’re close to the bride/groom and attend the hen/stag do too! I agree that being open and honest is the best way to have financial peace in a relationship. Thanks for hosting #myfavouritepost
Becky recently posted…Things I REALLY want to say when someone tells me they’re pregnant
September 1, 2015 at 11:05 am
Weddings do run expensive as a guest, especially if they are abroad or even out of town. Obviously every couple should be able to choose their ideal place, but if they choose say a beach in Mexico, they can’t get upset when friends don’t want to spend thousands of pounds to attend. Thanks for hosting #myfavouritepost
Debbie
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September 1, 2015 at 11:30 am
We eloped to Vegas and got married as I just couldn’t justify the cost x
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September 1, 2015 at 12:15 pm
So…I’ve never taken into consideration about the costs of those attending. Good thing for my future wedding it’s going to be very small and personal as I would want to put a majority of my money into having a special and romantic honeymoon.
Lorraine recently posted…Summer has come to end
September 1, 2015 at 1:06 pm
Weddings can be really expensive as a guest, but it can be difficult to say no when you have been invited to someone’s big day!
Jenni – Odd Socks and Lollipops recently posted…Gro to Bed – Review
September 1, 2015 at 1:46 pm
Sensible advice. Rev T and I occasionally do a marriage prep course for couples wanting to be married by him at our church. It’s amazing the stuff that people haven’t discussed beforehand – money, kids etc! #myfavouritepost
September 1, 2015 at 2:51 pm
This is really interesting, although not all that suprising! Great tips x
Sara | mumturnedmom recently posted…Summer: Bucket List Update
September 1, 2015 at 4:42 pm
Thankfully pretty much all of our friends are now married, and were local so no big expense.
September 1, 2015 at 9:00 pm
I’ve only attended one wedding and I was around 10 so I had no idea how much it does cost to attend. Interesting read.
Daniella | Freshly Pressed Beauty
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September 1, 2015 at 9:48 pm
Great tips. I agree attending weddings is a costly business #myfavoritepost xx
Something Crunchy Mummy recently posted…Warnings I Would Give My Kid Self
September 1, 2015 at 10:20 pm
Ouch. We haven’t been to a wedding for a few years but have got 2 so far next year, both of which we will need to stay over for. Will start saving a bit each month from now on! Thanks for hosting #MyFavouritePost
Sarah recently posted…Birch Bark Covered Flowerpots
September 2, 2015 at 12:41 pm
Really interesting read and great tips! Weddings definitely can be costly especially when you factor in attending a stag or hen do before have and then new outfits etc! x
Jess Howliston recently posted…Meal planning Monday!
September 2, 2015 at 12:48 pm
I have just received an invitation to a wedding of my cousin. It will cost £150 to go by coach for the 4 of us which will take 7 hours each way….The train is too expensive. Then about £80 for a Premier Inn room….Ugh! Plus outfits, spending money, a wedding present and who knows what else….Oh yeah and it”s a few weeks after Christmas. It’s a shame but we won’t be going.
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September 2, 2015 at 7:38 pm
This is a really interesting and important post. tbh its something that I tend not to think, but gladly I have a hubby that is always keeping us on track, financial wise…
#MyFavouritePost
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September 2, 2015 at 11:05 pm
Thankfully most of my friends are already married and/or local so costs haven’t been too bad. But hen dos are the nightmare. I begrudge spending time away from N to do activities or nights out that I won’t enjoy, so I try and just do the bits I can.
September 3, 2015 at 8:32 am
A really interesting post. I went to a wedding this year, which to be fair was a wonderful wedding, but cost me an absolute fortune. My flight was cancelled which meant that I had to, last minute, pay for another one. This trend of overseas weddings is financially crippling for all involved.
Pen recently posted…The Truth About Self-Doubt
September 4, 2015 at 3:24 am
Very interesting post ! Weddings here work do differently than where I come from ! Such unity in diversity of cultures x
Anushree Ganguly recently posted…La Manga, Spain
September 4, 2015 at 10:37 am
We’re still paying off our wedding – more than 5 years after the event! Wouldn’t change a thing about it though! #MyFavouritePost
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September 8, 2015 at 1:31 am
I haven’t been in a wedding for a few years now but it is true that you have to spend a lot specially if the wedding is abroad. Financial issues are one of the biggest arguments within a couple. It is very important to be honest to each other and try to talk about it when you are calm and relax to avoid any big arguments. I guess sometimes you just have to decline going to a wedding as it is silly to double your debts because of it. The problem is when the wedding you should attend is from a very closed friend or family. That becomes a big struggle! Thanks for sharing this. x
#MyFavouritePost
October 8, 2015 at 10:39 am
Attending a wedding really is expensive, especially as so many people are now demanding “money towards the honeymoon”. In top of that there is the hen/stag nights which now seem to be three day benders abroad….
February 9, 2017 at 12:16 pm
Weddings are indeed expensive! Money usually is the cause of disagreement between couples!
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